the inevitable

by rantywoman

The roommate has been given thirty days notice. I de-escalated the situation while pursuing my ultimate goal of removing the person from my life. Now I just have to get through an uncomfortable thirty days, perhaps the last of my time off before I have to go back to work.

I’ve also acknowledged my own role in this. I saw some signs before we moved in together and had some misgivings. After initially proposing the idea of us living together, I later suggested it might not be a good idea, but he was gung-ho and I wanted to try living with a roommate so I went ahead. I ignored the advice given to me here months ago to remove him because I wanted to give things a chance.

On the other hand, I hadn’t seen him in over a year before I moved back and, while I had inklings, had no true sense of the extent of his internet addiction and the changes (or intensification of underlying traits) in his personality until we lived together.

Between this incident and the one with the irate woman in L.A. that occurred during my last few weeks there, I once again understand how people can make the decision to cocoon with a loved one once they’ve found a sane and reasonable partner. I’m so tired of this kind of ugly drama and hate that it’s part of my life. Yet I try to remind myself that, despite the fact they drain the bulk of my emotional resources, these people represent only a small sliver of my acquaintances.

I’ve also realized that I have a sixth sense about which people will react poorly when I draw boundaries, and I avoid doing so with them because I want to avoid an ugly scene. What I’ve learned is that you can have the ugly scene upfront and avoid a whole lot of heartache down the road, or you can put it off and just delay the inevitable.