With this blog, I’ve tried to reflect on my experiences with fairness, compassion, honesty, clearheadedness, and nuance, all while maintaining a tone and style that protected anonymity all around.
I think I’ve done a pretty good job of it, and I think some readers have gotten a lot out of it and have, in return, contributed insightful comments.
But I’ll be honest; it’s gotten so that if I post something real and personal and substantive– the very appeal of this blog, I would think– I have to brace myself for the bullying, the lectures, and the sexism that are sure to result. It’s been a good test in that, at this age, I can see through a lot of it. I can also rationally decide whether or not the opinions expressed are valid to me; I no longer believe that every opinion has merit just because it is expressed forcefully.
Is it any wonder, though, why I find myself so attracted to people who display some sensitivity and charm? The irony is that so many of the commenters think I should lower my standards, while their comments often prove the opposite– that you can’t be too picky when it comes to who you share your life with.
In the words of Brene Brown, not everyone deserves your story:
Yes, but when you post anonymous or incomplete information about yourself. people will make conclusions based on it. That is the way of the Internet.
It’s still a ridiculously unimaginative way to engage with the world, and more critically creative thinkers can call it bullshit if we like.
I hope I am not one whose comments appear critical or lecturing. If so I’m sorry especially because it’s the opposite of my intention. I comment based on my own experiences and they may be completely irrelevant and not applicable at all to you and your situation.
You have always put a lot of thought and sincerity into your comments, which I appreciate, and your thoughts have added a lot to the blog. Thanks for writing.
Oh good, I would have felt terrible if I said something that felt mean or unsupportive. I put my real email in the email box too.
I like real, substantive and personal, so I hope you don’t shy away from posting such items. In fact, I enjoy the posts that include your observations more than those that are only quotations from others.
Indeed, while my life experience may be significantly different from yours, I routinely return to this blog to read your posts because you post such real, personal and substantive observations.
Yes, me too!