by rantywoman

I related to the reader comments on this article, especially the one about the workplace, as that has been my experience:

crimfan • 3 months ago • parent

I do think there’s a point though. A lot of the easy doors for making friends get closed off as one gets older. As the author notes opportunity needs to be there, and an environment that encourages mixing. 

Unfortunately in many jobs as one becomes more senior (not just in age) those opportunities go away. You have less time, have to keep distance from subordinates, and so forth. Also, the pool does dry up to some degree as folks you might want to spend time with “drop out” due to life changes. 

I think that it’s important not to artificially close people off, say simply because of age, but it’s still harder than in college by a long margin. 

Daisy • 3 months ago

You’ve got a point but I think you’re missing his point that making NEW friends is hard, and good ones – not just acquaintances you can party every now and then, but also enjoy just hanging out and talking with, like the real friends you made growing up, cannot be made by just going to a yoga class or a basketball game and striking a conversation up – even for singles!  As someone who’s been there, it’s hard to make real friends, of course it’s easy to make whatever friends, but when I was single, I just got used to just going out and doing my own things – eating alone until some guy would hit on me, going to fitness classes until someone would talk to me, and shopping by myself until I’d run into an old friend. Of course I had friends I could always party with – roommates and college friends and networked friends from volunteer groups and what not – but that closeness that was felt with my good old friends who were all living far away now – that was something very hard to attain! Sounds more like singles just settle for mediocre friends whereas non singles have to be more picky about their friends since they have less time…?