the buffet
by rantywoman
This is a major, and ridiculously exhausting, shift in how we mate as a species, the biggest, it seems, since birth control. As online dating becomes less stigmatized—just 21 percent of Internet users think online dating is “desperate,” down eight points since 2005, according to the Pew Research Center—more and more singles, hoping to meet their match, are turning to the digital world. It isn’t the age of the hook-up; it’s the age of the never-ending first date.
While any slut can game the system if he or she so pleases, bedding the city via Tinder or any number of online dating apps, what’s less often acknowledged is that regular people are going on an inordinate number of dates and getting very little—sexual or otherwise—in the process.
Read more at http://observer.com/2014/07/50000-first-dates-online-dating-makes-finding-a-partner-in-nyc-harder-than-ever/#ixzz38jffX8mV
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thebitterbabe 
Exactly how I feel about online dating. I was an early adopter and used to find it exciting and intriguing (my first date arranged online was on AOL in 2000), and I met my last 2 serious boyfriends online, but just in the past 2 years it has become a jaded, apathetic cesspool. Might also be that this is the crowd I’ve aged into (35). I’ve pulled away from online dating pretty hard in the past year and been better off for it. A few times I’ve jumped online for a week to satisfy my tormented curiosity but I am able to delete and disengage (from my profile, not from other people!) much more easily now.
I’m heartened in general by the backlash to social media that seems to be swelling. I’ve learned that I can be kind of an overwhelming person at times, and I’ve never been able to win at “who can care less” contests. As online dating became more and more noncommittal, with men taking fewer interpersonal risks, my self-esteem really started to wear. It feels good to insulate myself from that kind of pain by jumping offline. I have far fewer dates, which ironically translates into far less rejection!
I have that same question– did online dating gradually become a dead end in general, or did it just become worse for me as I grew older? I started back in 2002 and though I only got one or two short-term relationships and a few friendships out of it, I did at least used to get a bunch of dates. I barely even got that by the time I hit forty, and yeah, it’s much better for my self-esteem to once in a while get flirted with “in real life” than to face the non-responses, mysterious disappearances, and flat-out rejections on online dating sites.
It was interesting to me that the male writing this story experienced a lot of the same behavior.
Yes, I’m in the same boat. I started exploring online dating later than most. Went down that road last few years. I’m 42, and haven’t returned to it. I think the problem is twofold. The men over 35 crowd is limited. Also, people seem to abuse these sites. Even paid sites have members who play around, post awful pics, never respond to others, are socially inept even if articulate online. Yes, a horrible lazy cesspool of “singles” who don’t take online dating seriously. A disservice to those that just want to meet a good person on real terms.
Totally agree with your last sentence.