Since my first job in my early twenties, I’ve tried to be careful about “wishing my life away,” thinking about nothing but my next vacation (or, as I got older, retirement). To this end, instead of putting all my hopes and dreams into exotic vacations, I tried to find activities I was excited about that I could look forward to on a weekly basis.
And yet, I’m starting to feel like I’d be willing to give away the next ten years of my life to get to retirement already. That makes it sound like I’m seriously depressed, but I’m not. I just don’t have high hopes for this particular phase of my life. The physically uncomfortable transition of menopause is looming, I can’t count on finding romance, the activities I enjoy are pleasurable but no longer thrilling (salsa, swimming, etc.), and I can’t seem to get excited about taking a vacation since I’d have to travel solo, which has also lost its thrill. Additionally the novelty of exploring California is gone. I’m in a job that overall I’m happy with and appreciate having but my career field has never been my dream. The new challenges that come with promotions are helpful, but I’m less and less interested in the field as a whole. Finally, while my new home is pleasant, I can’t shake the sense that I’m just “passing through” and without a family I will remain on the periphery.
The pull of just doing my own thing, sleeping in and having time to read retains its hold on me. In the meantime I continue to look for things that will seize me, engaging me with today as opposed to tomorrow.
I also think about retirement. I have a friend who retired last year. At first she didn’t know what to do with her time. Then she did too much. Now she’s figuring out how to enjoy herself. I wonder WHERE I’ll want to be. The big city has lots to offer, but is expensive. I don’t know where else to go.
I went to line dancing last night. It turned out to be a singles event. I left. I bought a new bicycle helmet instead.
I don’t know if this part of your comment was meant to be funny G Bell but I made me laugh, so thanks.
“I went to line dancing last night. It turned out to be a singles event. I left. I bought a new bicycle helmet instead”.
😉 yes. It’s funny because it’s true! Right?
I have a friend about 5 years my senior. Some years ago she told me: “if it has “singles” in the name, I don’t go.” I didn’t understand. If you want to line dance, who cares what it’s called? Now I understand. Now I feel that way.
I like my new helmet.
yeah, it’s funny because it’s true 🙂
IT made me laugh, even though I was the one laughing 🙂