never married, over forty, a little bitter

the effort

How I relate to this:

Q: In the book, you say that you haven’t known what to wear for a few years now. Has that changed?

A: First of all, how you look physically is the least of the issues at 50. I want to make that clear. But I do write about it because at a certain point you’re just not sure what you’re comfortable in anymore. It takes a lot of effort at this age not just to get dressed, it’s everything — eating the right foods, taking the supplements, getting the right amount of exercise, remaining economically viable. It’s a lot of work. For me, it takes a lot of coffee. And vitamin D.

Also, the last chapter of her book, “The Four A.M. Club,” was to me the most poignant:

Q: The last chapter of your book is a collection of women’s thoughts at 4 a.m. Why 4 a.m.?

A: At 4 a.m. I’m wondering what city I’m in because I’m on a book tour. And I’m wondering if I can get a good espresso at 5 a.m. I find 4 a.m. to be a real time when people at this age have these funny and serious thoughts about life.

the midpoint

The first time I moved to Los Angeles, it took me almost three years to plug into a social scene that captured my imagination, and then another three to realize it wasn’t actually going to lead anywhere.

Now that I’m residing in this smaller, sleepier satellite, I predict I’ll figure out the lay of the land sooner, but I’m trying to give things at least a year before I come to any definitive conclusions. I’m meeting lots of people through work, experiencing the different seasons, enjoying summertime at the beach, attending the annual local events, and participating in various activities. I’ve been telling myself that as long as my weekends are full, I won’t resort to online dating, and it looks like they will remain full through the end of the year.

My hunch at the midpoint, however, is that despite my relaxing dips in the ocean, I’m a fish out of water here. A fish amongst spouses, kids, and sports.

If that proves true, I don’t know what my approach to things will be come 2015. I have some plans to leave town at the end of the year; my first real trip away since moving here and starting this job. I’ll have some time to think, then, about the road ahead.