never married, over forty, a little bitter

charmed lives

I appreciate the honesty:

‘As a parent, I have it made,’ she said.
‘I’m on a TV show where my hiatus is [my kids’] summer, so I’m free to be with them in the summer time. I’m able to afford full-time help because of what I do. My husband also works, and my nanny makes my life doable and so easy.’

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context clues

When I look back on the men I’ve fallen for in the past, almost to a one they were part of a social scene, a setting, or an activity I found exciting and enticing. That’s probably one of the reasons online dating never worked that well for me. Meeting someone in isolation didn’t provide the context I needed to generate a sense of intrigue and interest.

The first few years I lived in L.A., I was randomly dating from online, but eventually I stumbled upon a sector of the entertainment industry that was both appealing and, through live shows and social media and podcasts, relatively accessible and transparent. New romantic interests were hatched. For a spell, it was all very exciting, but after several flirtations failed to pan out, I gave up.

It’s no wonder that since I’m currently detached from any sort of consistent, coherent social scene or activity and am leaving my romantic fate up to random encounters, I’m losing my optimism that I’ll ever meet someone. My brain doesn’t seem to know how to form interest in the random guy next to me in the produce aisle or at the gas pump.


LWB: What’s one thing you want other people (moms, younger women, men, grandmothers, teachers, strangers) to know about your being childfree?

Justine: I think a lot of times we are considered to be sad and bitter women, or people feel major pity for us. I think after we do our work of recovering from struggles we can actually have better and happier lives. It took major work to get to this side. My sad and bitter moments are few and far between, but I have to stay on top of my recovery.