It should come as no surprise that the dating landscape has changed significantly over the years. Just as quickly as technology advances, the speed and structure of romantic relationships appear to have done the same. While I have had a vague idea that the times have changed, it wasn’t until earlier last week when I was in a male colleague’s office discussing heterosexual relationships that I came to a startling realization. Apparently, I’m living in an alternate reality.
Many times my therapy clients ask me quite earnestly what they should do, and my thoughts on their situations. Too often has a female client tearfully recounted tales of trying to message a guy, make things work, and do much of the legwork only to be brushed off or entirely ignored. It’s disheartening to hear this and their justifications for their intended’s behavior. “He’s just so shy. Maybe he’s aloof. Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough.” My secret hope is that they simply aren’t engaging with anyone who ascribes to games of cat and mouse. And then I hope they find someone better and more deserving of their affections. Open dialogue and honest communication seem to be the exception and not the norm too many times in their encounters with the opposite sex.