the unique
by rantywoman
Optimistic study here. I admit I’m highly attracted to uniqueness:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/18/opinion/sunday/so-youre-not-desirable.html
Psychological research on first impressions has shown that men and women do in fact reach some degree of consensus about each other in precisely this way. During an initial encounter, some people generally inspire swooning, others polite indifference and others avoidance. Desirable qualities like attractiveness, charisma and success — the features that differentiate the haves from the have-nots — are readily apparent.
Yet alongside this consensus is an equally important concept: uniqueness. Uniqueness can also be measured. It is the degree to which someone rates a specific person as lower or higher than the person’s consensus value. For example, even if Neil is a 6 on average, certain women may vary in their impressions of him. Amanda fails to be charmed by his obscure literary references and thinks he is a 3. Yet Eileen thinks he is a 9; she finds his allusions captivating.
In initial encounters, consensus and uniqueness are in tension. Which ultimately prevails?
Definitely uniqueness attracts, if it’s something that resonates with me (as in the example given). What’s ‘really unusual and cool’ to me is weird and offputting to someone else .(And vice versa.) And thank goodness! Generic attractiveness, success, etc hold little interest and don’t have much staying power. But maybe that’s just me, as I have always cultivated an iconoclastic stance, though much of that I come by naturally.