We (male) nerds grow up force-fed this script. Lusting after women “out of our league” was what we did. And those unattainable hot girls would always inevitably reject us because they didn’t understand our intellectual interest in science fiction and comic books and would instead date asshole jocks. This was inevitable, and our only hope was to be unyieldingly persistent until we “earned” a chance with these women by “being there” for them until they saw the error of their ways. (The thought of just looking for women who shared our interests was a foreign one, since it took a while for the media to decide female geeks existed. The Big Bang Theory didn’t add Amy and Bernadette to its main cast until Season 4, in 2010.)
This is a brilliant piece. He 100% nails it. Thank you for posting.
When I was younger I was a nerd girl and had to listen to nerd boy friends (strictly platonic) obsessing about the hot girls in school. I could discuss all the nerd topics with them but they weren’t turned on by what was between a girl’s ears.
At the time it seemed that 95% of the boys were interested in 5% of the girls and most of us weren’t in that 5%. So who are they to complain later that 80% of the girls are interested in 20% of the boys?
“The thought of just looking for women who shared our interests was a foreign one, since it took a while for the media to decide female geeks existed. ”
So strange. Why does the media need to point something out first in order for it to exist in reality? Or maybe I’m misunderstanding what he’s saying. I love movies but never in my life did I feel that my expectations or attitudes were shaped by what someone did in a movie or on TV. I do think it’s an issue when the media depicts sexist, racist, etc. situations as normal and okay (and I think that is an important point to address and needs more attention), but that’s not the same as feeling that I have to adopt whatever attitudes the media is throwing at me. I base my actions in life on things that happen in life, not in the movies. An odd essay IMO although I appreciate some of his points.