Last week researchers at the University of New Mexico warned that girls rely too much on romantic relationships for their self-identity. The study found that girls are at greater risk of depression, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts the more their relationships diverged from their ideal. There was no evidence that such romantic disappointments affect boys, who were shown to gain their self worth from sport or other achievements.
For these girls, Cameron Diaz is a good role-model. It is a great shame that these American teenagers are fortunate enough to live in an era where their future no longer relies on meeting a prince, yet they fail to utilize this. Perhaps they should be enlightened to the fact that just fifty years ago in some states of their country, women couldn’t take out a loan or a mortgage without the signature of a husband. Perhaps they should be reminded that in the 1970s a woman could be sacked simply for losing her looks and no one would bat an eyelid. It’s no good having all these victories in the battle for emancipation of women if we still send out a message that finding Mr. Right is the only route to utopia.
“For these girls, Cameron Diaz is a good role-model.”
So, with such a great role model, why hasn’t the mentality of these young women changed? Do they not know who Cameron Diaz is, and how great her life is? Is the author of this piece saying that Cameron Diaz and her amazing life are under-exposed?
“It’s no good having all these victories in the battle for emancipation of women if we still send out a message that finding Mr. Right is the only route to utopia.”
Maybe it’s not a “message” that’s being sent out. Maybe, for most women, it’s simply the only thing that will make them happy. Maybe a nice job and owning property and going on fabulous vacations won’t make them any less lonely.
That would be a hard thing to admit, wouldn’t it? It would mean that the “victories” of the past 50 years have been a catastrophic failure for most women.
Here’s all you need to know about that repulsive little piece of nihilistic social engineering.
“(The author, Helen Croydon) …..is also the founder of the dating website parttimelove.co.uk”
As some of you women well know, it’s all fun and games until you’re facing the prospect of your twilight days alone followed by a final couple of years being slapped around by dusky-hued strangers.
One of the greatest pleasures of my life has been watching the development of the incredible bond between my daughter and my wife. My daughter has promised me she won’t abandon her mother when she’s old. I won’t be around to see it but I believe her.
seems an odd promise to make, as it implies the alternative is an option, which doesn’t sit well in generaly but especially so if their relationship is as good as you say.
If you don’t think the alternative is an option you’re living well out of the mainstream. My mother-in-law, a cold woman, took pleasure in dumping her ailing mother in a care home on the other side of the country. My daughter is a very different person but, even so, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important.
And so I offer you this small poem, a perverse favorite of mine, Philip Larkin’s This Be The Verse.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Oh no, i know the alternative exists and happens. I just find it odd for a teenager to be having these kinds of conversations, especially if the relationship she has with her mother is as incredible as you say. I think parents can also place a lot of pressure on kids even when the child is pretty much a model example. I also think parents have to moderate their expectations. A child is not a guaranteed caretaker.
Oh dear. Mike, you are coming across as being racist as well as sexist. I can be politically incorrect too –
I could have chosen to stay with the man who slapped me around and then I wouldn’t be that dreadful thing – a single woman of a certain age. Also men tend to die earlier than women, especially if a woman marries a significantly older man.
There is no guarantee that children will stay around to care for aging parents and if they do that’s their choice. Some may want to but have to move for work.
Even if a woman does marry she may be widowed with all her children living far away. She is just at risk (as Mike charmingly put it) of being slapped around by dusky-hued strangers.
Actually, I thought that certain men preferred dusky-hued women from certain countries because they have “traditional” values and are easier to control. Those men think Russian women are getting above themselves so they go for “traditional, unspoiled” dusky-hued women.
Seriously, the phrase “dusky-hued strangers” is an insult to professional, competent nurses from abroad. One of the best nurses I encountered was from India – she told me her brothers had gone to medical school but her family couldn’t afford to send her so she did nursing instead.
Seriously, the phrase “dusky-hued strangers” is an insult to professional, competent nurses from abroad.
Why an insult? Dark-skinned? Yes. Unknown to the inmate? Yes. Ergo dusky-hued strangers.
And yes I believe there are observable, measurable differences between the races. By your standards I’m sure that makes me a racist.
“I won’t be around to see it but I believe her.” How the hell do you know? Are you planning on killing yourself when you’re old?
I’m older than her and men have lower life expectancy. Also, my wife has genes for longevity. Both her paternal grandparents lived to be well over 100 and her parents are living. My father died at 64.
“… in the 1970s a woman could be sacked simply for losing her looks and no one would bat an eyelid.” What? And women aren’t sacked today, when they lose their looks? Especially if they work in the entertainment or fashion industry. Men, on the other hand, grow mature and distinguished (not).