never married, over forty, a little bitter

no guarantees

I’m not in control. It doesn’t matter what your spiritual beliefs are. Maybe you’re religious, maybe you’re an atheist. I think all of us can agree that there are things that are out of our control. You can ask to be set up, put up a profile on OK Cupid, go to parties, walk down the street with an “I’m single and looking” glint in your eyes,” do a New Age love ritual, consult a psychic, work at being the best single person that you possibly can be, but none of these things will guarantee that you will meet a person with whom you want to have a long term relationship with. That’s just the truth. And I know it. Some things are out of my control. All I can do is accept that.

the layering

In my early thirties, I took up partner dancing and became entranced. It led me to ballet and other dance hobbies. I still practice ballet and, in my new home, occasionally salsa and tango. The scene here has been welcoming.

When I was living in the heart of L.A., I enjoyed going to comedy shows, and I still listen to a lot of comedy podcasts. Near the end of my time there I took up kundalini yoga, and I continue to practice it daily and have found a community in my new location.

As I’ve (also) written about here, when I moved back to my former city, I spent some time on a farm and got in the habit, which I continue today via farmer’s markets, of cooking up fresh vegetables weekly. I started learning Spanish and have continued to practice it.

These days, via my job, I spend a lot of time around cops and firemen and engineers and tinkerers– all mostly new worlds to me and not ones I ever sought out in the past. But, for the most part, I’m embracing the novelty. I’m also revisiting my enchantment with surfers.

It turns out I’m a rolling stone, but I do gather some moss as I go.

In my former city I had a couple of friends, a few years younger than me, who were struggling with infertility. Now one is happily pregnant and the other one will likely follow behind soon.

Perhaps it is for the best that, instead of settling in there, I kept on moving and growing.