thebitterbabe

never married, over forty, a little bitter

the reset button

http://www.more.com/health/wellness/anti-aging-effects-meditation

Recently, alarmed at my brain’s seemingly swift degeneration (not to mention my impatience, distractedness, and maddening forgetfulness), I decided to try a different kind of mental exercise: meditation. It seemed unlikely that simply sitting, closing my eyes, and focusing on my breathing could help. But after only a couple of weeks — results are quick — I was starting to believe that the best thing to keep my mind calm, cheerful, flexible, and focused is to do nothing, for 15 minutes a day. Meditation made me feel both relaxed and more energetic. I developed a bit of distance between events and my reactions. Someone cut me off in the car? Maybe he’s having a bad day. A promising date didn’t blossom into a romance? Perhaps it’s his problem, not mine. Even at this early stage, I’ve noticed I’m much more able to let go of judgments of myself and others.

trolls

http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/theperch/index.php/heraldsun/comments/dawson_case_spotlights_trolls_hatred_of_single_women/

But the whole, despicable, episode has spotlighted an issue that in our love-affair with social media is not discussed enough; one of its favourite punching bags is childless, single women.

Hiding gutlessly behind anonymous accounts, way too many misogynists make sport online of bullying childless and single women, vigorously and often. Now, with demonstrable, devastating effect.

Why women who are not married, or mothers, are singled out for special, sexist poison is a mystery. But any regular user who follows high-profile women will likely recognise this disturbing theme.

To say you’ve even noticed it is risky, because it gratifies the attention-crazed intentions of the more brutal trolls.

But I think it needs airing that women such as Dawson can face a drip-drip or bash-bash of such disgusting, personally-tailored abuse, in which often their own infertility or involuntary childlessness is brandished as the weapon.

Sexism is one, still too-common thing, but the contempt for women who have not married or for whatever reason don’t have kids, is nothing short of shocking.

recliners

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2014/02/25/recline-dont-lean-in-why-i-hate-sheryl-sandberg/

That explained it. Some college students, like my friend Suzanne, take aerobics classes. Some college students, like Sheryl Sandberg, teach aerobics classes. Other college students, like myself, lie around the dorm reading novels. Sheryl Sandberg was already busy leaning in. I was busy leaning back on my sofa, with a good book and a nice cup of cocoa.

[…]

Today, most women can make money on their own and acquire rooms of their own — but they still get too little psychic space and too little time for the kind of unstructured, creative thinking so critical to any kind of success.

Perhaps the modern equivalent of Woolf’s “room of her own” is the right to stop “leaning in” all the time. There is, after all, much to be said for leaning out — for long lunches, afternoon naps, good books and some nice, slow hours in the La-Z-Boy.