the bermuda triangle
I believe that women, in regard to dating, begin wrestling with the ageism issue as young as thirty, which is a bit ridiculous, if not tragic, considering the length of lifespans today. Not to mention that, in my opinion, a woman in her thirties is at her peak in many ways and is an ideal partner.
But many men will avoid seriously dating a thirtysomething woman out of fear of being immediately pressured into marriage and babies. If the woman then remains single into her forties, she is looked at askew for remaining solo. Older men who don’t want more children may at that point be interested in seriously dating her, but overall, available men are even thinner on the ground and often well into their fifties.
Melanie Notkin’s Otherhood confirmed by suspicions:
p. 45 In fact, once I had emerged from the Dating Bermuda Triangle, somehow it became acceptable to share with me that dating women of a certain age was unacceptable. It was as if finding love before thirty-five made a woman up to standard. After that, she was assumed desperate.
It made me wonder if some people believe love is only for those who have found it.
Once I turned forty, I seemed to exit the Dating Bermuda Triangle. Now older men are relieved to know I’m no longer at an age where they feel the collective pressure by women about marriage and children. I am once again dateable.
I’m unsure what the answer is since you can’t make people date who they don’t want to date, and most thirtysomething women will indeed want to get married and start a family. I have seen many of my thirty-and-fortysomething friends find love, marriage, and babies with men close to their age, however, so it does happen.
I guess the only thing that would help is if more men understood that if they are planning to wait until their forties or even fifties to start a family and hope at that point that they’ll be able to find a woman under thirty-five, they are going to discover that finding that younger woman and having kids at that age will not be easy.