ambigamy
by rantywoman
Although I don’t agree with all of it, this article in Psychology Today does a decent job of outlining many of the challenges in dating today:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ambigamy/201205/single-mid-life-female-seeks-romantic-solution
Once again, however, I disagree with this statement (and am perturbed it is now making its way into Psychology Today):
“Stop lamenting men. We are what we are and besides you were too back when it was your world and you could flick us away when we bored you.”
I don’t believe the dating world was ever my oyster. Basically, my thoughts are this: since everyone is available in their early twenties, both men and women have lots of options. Both men and women reject and get rejected at that age, probably in equal measure. Both learn through these experiences and hopefully come out wiser from them by the time they are in their thirties. Only men, however, are seen (at least by proponents of this theory) as being able to benefit from this greater wisdom and sensitivity. Women, in this scenario, are already washed up by twenty-five; they “had their chance” and blew it.
I do agree with much of his advice at the end of the article, although, for the record, I have hobbies, demand little in the way of time from men I date, and hope to find someone with whom I can work on a big goal/ project for the future. I have to say, none of that has helped.
thebitterbabe 
I don’t believe the dating world was ever my oyster. Basically, my thoughts are this: since everyone is available in their early twenties, both men and women have lots of options. Both men and women reject and get rejected at that age, probably in equal measure.
The key word here is “believe.”
Women project their life experiences and internal dialog onto men. Men’s experience is different to women’s. In particular, early experiences with relationships, dating and sex are completely asymmetric.
I offer this small insight. Women are biologically hardwired for a selfish perspective. This is not a moral issue, there are good biological reasons for this. Nevertheless, it’s more difficult for a woman to imagine herself in a man’s shoes than vice versa. Try and overcome this inherent disability.
Women are biologically hardwired for a selfish perspective.
Learning opportunity here, ladies. Statements like these are a classic Militant Red Pill tell. The term they use when speaking amongst themselves is “female solipsism.” If they don’t like something a woman says, the cause of the disliked opinion is always “Female solipsism” which applies to every single female in the world simply because she is female.
They offer no proof of “female solipsism” apart from anecdotal data, but of course “everyone knows it exists” lol. “Female solipsism” is perhaps the greatest male bonding tool ever invented by these men.
If you say so.
Meanwhile, in the real world, men are more altruistic than women and consistently score a point higher on Kohlberg’s moral scale. Women’s sense of justice is more situational while men’s is more oriented to abstract moral principles.
A small example from an actual conversation.
Me: “Illegal aliens should be deported.”
My daughter: “Women too?”
Me: “Yes.”
My daughter: “But what if she has children?”
So, me – abstract principles; my daughter – situational morality.
Women have succeeded in remaking Western society around “the web of relationships” and around situational morality. Thank you, Carol Gilligan. If you don’t like the results I can’t help you with that.
Woman are more fussy than men, that single trait alone makes the sexual market place a different experience for men.
The truly weird thing is that no matter how often anyone might point out that for some women dating world might well have been their oyster, for some women it was not, this concept is refused point blank. Fingers in ears, not listening, singing la-la-la-la. Or just claims that “you were wrong about that, dozens of men were asking you out and you just never saw them, every woman is the same, all their experiences are the same, and their experiences are what I think they are, I refuse to believe otherwise”.
It makes it very difficult to have any sort of reasonable discussion with someone if they continually insist on telling you your own experiences are false.
MissM
The truly weird thing is that no matter how often anyone might point out that for some women dating world might well have been their oyster, for some women it was not, this concept is refused point blank.
I believe you. I do not deny your point of view.
However, capturing all the shades of gray in human experience can not be done in a couple of paragraphs.
Once again the stumbling block is the difference between the ways in which men and women think. Women think in terms of the personal and tend to extrapolate their own experiences and the experiences of people they know.
Men look for patterns and attempt to construct rule sets that are generally applicable.
So, generalizing, the subjective versus the objective.
Which is why men can appear deaf to people with experiences that lie outside the norm.
For women looking to understand men, how can you solve a problem if you don’t begin to acknowledge its existence? The problem being that men and women think differently.
It makes it very difficult to have any sort of reasonable discussion with someone if they continually insist on telling you your own experiences are false.
Yes, it’s obnoxious, but if you disagree with them or challenge them on anything this is what happens. This is why they talk for any length of time only amongst each other – because no one else will have them.
Even Mark Minter got fed up and couldn’t take it anymore.
yep too true. That’s because they aren’t very good at objectively evaluating information.