Today, the typical woman of the Otherhood is still single (or single again, following a divorce) long past the time when she thought she’d settle down– whether that means that she’s in her late twenties or midforties. She probably feels that her personal growth has been stunted, that she’s become alienated from her peer group, that she’s fallen short of the expectations of family and friends (on top of her own), and that a great number of people around her presume, falsely, that she’s chosen her lifestyle and treat her accordingly. She might seem enviable for the perceived glamour of that lifestyle– her career, her income, her freedom, her sex life– even if “glamour” may be an entirely erroneous perception. And at the same time, she is also often misperceived, sometimes even vilified, as careless and selfish, superficial and undisciplined, cold and solely career-focused. Melanie Notkin, Otherhood, p. xviii
Notkin’s book is the most accurate depiction of the middle-aged NYC dating (or not-dating) scene I’ve ever read or seen in a movie. Absolutely spot-on. While much of the latter half of her book focuses on her struggle to come to terms with not having children (a burden I’ve never had to carry, as I never wanted kids), it’s still a terrific slice of (Manhattan) life, far more so than the often ridiculous SATC.
More posts from that book soon…