the shapeless

by rantywoman

It almost feels like your life is not worth that much because if something were to go wrong there would be nobody behind left without a mother, as I am a childless woman. A childless woman is like a shadow – you may or may not notice it on the wall. It doesn’t have a shape nor does it make a sound and it disappears in the night like it never existed. I remember the conversations around the water cooler. Women always talk about fashion or cooking until somebody starts talking about what her child.

You can have the knowledge of Einstein or have Newton’s intelligence; nothing will deter a woman from talking about her child, while you, the childless woman, can hear yourself carrying your own conversation – talking to yourself, quiet, just an extension of the water cooler.

My lack of children made me lose some of my best friends. No, we did not argue and parted ways because we did not agree on who should be the next president of the United States. We suddenly had nothing in common, our two ways conversations became a one speech dedicated to the little bundle of joy they had. Their lives changed and so did our relationship. My contribution was a gift or just sitting on my chair and listening. We could not share emotions, thoughts, feelings, and advice.