never married, over forty, a little bitter

pyramid schemes

When I first started out, I had not the merest iota of self-awareness. I didn’t really know what I was doing or why I was doing it. I just practiced the poses. Little-by-little, however, things started to percolate upward. During my practice I noticed that my breathing affected the results. I began to study my breathing, an autonomic process I had always taken for granted. Much less strenuous than the poses, so why was I becoming more and more aware of it?. Not only during my practice, but in every other activity: walking, driving, lying in bed. Little did I realize.

Where my exploration differed with the Maslow diagram — I failed at the Belongingness & Love Needs and the Esteem Needs stages. Had I been obliged to master these stages before attempting the final stages in Blocks Two and One of the Maslow, I would have been condemned to perpetual failure. Only by jumping ahead to the Need to Know & Understand stage was I able to succeed (reach the top of the Maslow pyramid) and ultimately work my way back down to Block One to complete the work on the stages I skipped.


It’s been more than a year that I’ve done an hour of kundalini yoga (just about) every single day. I can tell it’s had an impact.

It’s subtle, but I have a general feeling of warm contentment, and even when I’m completely stressed out, the feelings of anger and frustration are muted.

If a spirit were to appear tomorrow, tell me I was going to pass away, and give me the option of either traveling to the next dimension or returning to earth in any scenario of my choosing, I would most certainly choose the former.

I don’t know if these feelings of non-attachment to this planet mean I’m enlightened or defeated.

I do know that I only felt a slight pang when a childhood friend emailed me pictures today of her two gorgeous children.