tyranny

by rantywoman

Nice article and I like this reader’s comment:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-notkin/what-i-know-about-being-single-now-that-im-in-my-40s_b_4747843.html

Teri F. (Izzy66)
7
2,769 Fans·Curb your Amygdala

I longed for ‘love’ and coupledom throughout my adult life … Until I hit 50. Suddenly, I realized the ‘magic’ fella/qualifications/fantasies never showed up during my baby making years. Hitting that wall was traumatic; like a death of something. But it was a death of an idea, a concept. A belief since I began menstruation that I should follow this “lid for every pot” meme and find a Mate. Now Mating doesn’t take aging well and I found I simply had to finally. Let. IT go. It had become a form of tyranny in my life for too many years.

Grieving of the loss of a lifelong deeply held belief is devastating; but after a couple of years, I felt free. Free from comparing myself to my current circle of friends; Free from having to Search. Free from having to Audition.

My decades-long internal sense of being ‘on hold’ in life was lifted: I was no longer a Product I was constantly trying to ‘sell.’ Now I cook, paint canvas, kayak, write, enjoy being a part of my friends’ families as well as embrace what is left of the years with my parents.

For me it was a kind of bittersweet surrender: If the Dream isn’t happening, then Embrace What IS. And Life is much richer for it.

Maybe in the Next Life I’ll get my PhD in relationships…

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