Not sure about this book but I thought this was an interesting comment string:
alchemy-flying 1 day ago
I discovered the same thing over 20 years ago. The pool of qualified applicants becomes much smaller the older one gets. After seeing the difficulties some friends had with blended families, I decided long ago not to date women with children, so that eliminates a majority of the pool right away. What remains are a lot of women that turn out to have personality disorders and poor mental hygiene.
Even women with grown children don’t interest me. Since I’ve never had children I really don’t want to hear a continuous report of what their kids or grandkids are up to. Women that had children to raise usually never had time to develop other interests, so all they have to talk about is their children. And that’s not the least bit interesting to me!
jentay 21 hours ago
@alchemy-flying It is SO apparent that you struggle with meaningful connections. Saying that people who have children talk about them because they have no other interests? You obviously have never felt the kind of deep love you can only have with your off-spring. I have the richest life, background and interests than most people I meet (without giving too much away about what I do) and I have to remind myself all the time to stop talking about my kid. You know how when you fall in love you can’t stop telling people how wonderful that person is? Same thing. Wanting to talk about your kid has nothing to do with interests. It’s about being in love with your family.
alchemy-flying 19 hours ago
You have children and I don’t. We live in two separate worlds. If I had children I’m sure I would feel the same as you. But I never found a suitable partner to have children with. Now, I’ve aged out of that part of life. What you said about having to remind yourself about not talking too much about your children proves my point. Many divorced women unfourtunately had to raise their kids on their own and work at the same time, thus leaving them no time to pusue other interests that a single man such as myself might find interesting.
And I do have a very high emotional IQ. I’m well aware of who would be a good match for me and who would not. I would never date anyone only for the purpose of sexual gratification. Common life experiences and similar interests and goals as well as a physical attraction are the keys for a fulfilling relationship.
Ken727 10 hours ago
@alchemy-flying@jentay As a single guy I can definitely see where you are coming from. And I agree with you about children and family often drastically shrinking the boundaries of a person’s world. I’ve dated quite a few women with children and, by and large, this has been a key “problem”. The children seem to become not just the biggest part of their world but the entirety of it. They sometimes literally have no other interests except their children. Often they don’t even have any friends who aren’t also mothers. It’s a totally closed feedback loop. One wonders why they even make the effort to date, unless it’s just so they can have a new person to talk about their kids with. To a childless person this can all seem really sad and stunted. Maybe it’s not in reality but it sure appears that way from the outside.
Of course, this is not always the case. I have met and gone out with women who have kids and still have a personal life of their own with their own individual interests and passions. But, let me tell you, they are rare specimens indeed.