I couldn’t have said this better…
Over 50…Are We Now Invisible?
Posted: 7/24/2013 1:27:54 PM
First off, you are not missing anything not attending singles events. Nothing to be gained. Message 6 sums it up pretty well.
I am 46 and started dating at 42 after being out off the market for 20 plus years. Invisibility starts in Los Angeles alot earlier..so the idea of being 50 doesnt bother me! Will probably feel like it does now. But, remember…alot of men are married now..this is a different era in people’s lives. This isnt the 20’s or 30’s where there is still that push to “start your life”..people are now IN their lives. I’m finding many married men flirting and flatly offering up…not a situation I am looking for, but I can see if we were all single, I’d probably be much busier dating..but as it stands, many men are simply in relationships, or not fit as dating material..socially backwards, dont know how to relate to women, etc.
What I decided to do was dump the singles and online stuff and just join interest groups. I go hiking twice a week, and I’ve had dates as a result. But there is no pressure..its not a singles thing..so you can talk casually, see people week after week and get to know them gradually. Feels more natural.
I also have just removed dating as a major priority in my life. I spend more time with my hobbies, exercise, work, other projects. I take care of myself and accept compliments and keep my ears and eyes open, but dating just is not the focus now..I’ve learned chances of a normal healthy relationship with an available man have been cut drastically, either because of my age or because alot of people are already involved…maybe a combo of both.
You have to find happiness in other areas of life, and if you DO start dating, be discerning..dont hang around someone who is not good for you because you dont think you’ll ever find anyone else.
Another thing I have learned is that despite my loneliness, I’ve found it is a far more lonely feeling being with someone who isnt right for you than being single and willing to wait for something loving, healthy and real.