hither and yon

by rantywoman

As I mentioned before, over this last holiday I visited with an old childhood friend who is a stay-at-home mom with three kids. It sounds like she has little time for herself and, since her husband is self-employed, the family experiences occasional financial insecurity. She and her husband held age, religious, and regional differences between them when they married– differences that most likely would have tripped me up– but they seem to have straightened them out over time, and overall she seems quite happy.

Her personality may well just be set on a happier, more extroverted dial than mine, but it’s hard for me not to envy her settled position at the moment, as next week I board a plane to fly across country for an all-day interview for a high-level post. As you can imagine, I’m a bit rattled. Ten months ago I set out to put my life on the opposite path– less work stress, more sense of community, easier living. Now I’m facing moving alone for the eighth time in my life and starting another big-time job.

In terms of place, I’m realizing I can “make it work” in a lot of different cities. There are things I like here and things I don’t, and certainly I’ve had my share of whopping disappointments since moving back. I’m working on creating a sense of “home” within that I can carry with me anywhere, and I realize there will be pros and cons no matter where I end up. What I don’t relish is the idea of moving again, especially alone, and especially so soon after just making a big move.

This job, though, is a great opportunity, and since I’ve managed to rustle up little here (a couple of those recent opportunities didn’t pan out), I am grateful for the opportunity and planning to do my best on the interview. And I’m unsure what I will do if I don’t get it. My old organization here may well have stopped interviewing me for positions altogether, while at the same time my former organization in L.A. has floated several ones by me. But if I accept one of those I’ll be moving back to put myself in pretty much the same conditions I just left.

I am, therefore, not thinking much past this upcoming interview.

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