Bars, events, and online dating– the activities most people turn to in order to meet a partner– all seem unlikely avenues for me at this age. I do, however, occasionally get flirted with just going about the business of life– playing tennis, working on the farm, shopping at Home Depot, dealing with maintenance men, swimming, and so on.
Yet it is hard to let go of the “filtering” mechanism that online dating provides. One of the men I found attractive from the farm recently introduced me to his toddler children. Is there a woman in the picture? I don’t even know. Another man, from tennis, asked to friend me on Facebook. Turns out he is almost twenty years younger than me. I have a feeling he’s a bit surprised.
The real world is full of curves.
I happen to love men with kids, but maybe that’s just because I’m longing for a family and guys with kids are usually are in that place. I’ve really gotten used to having the ex in the picture rather permanently.
This NYT article this morning was interesting:
It makes me think that this exclusion from any couples-centered activities isn’t a figment of my imagination, but very real. I’m glad that I have my friends, but damn, if my hair isn’t falling out just like hers. I hope your hair is staying on your head!!
I had never seen the Holmes Stress inventory before, but I am stuck by how couples-centered it is. The people I know under the most stress are not divorced, but single women trying to get through life on their own. This inventory does not consider that at all:
Happy aloha sunday… although the men in hawaii are all sub-par, the number of single ladies and guys to be friends with is off the charts.
You might want to read the book Stepmonster— I wasn’t aware of all the pitfalls of being a stepmother! They do seem common though.
Thanks for sending along the NY Times link.
Even reading the reviews was enlightening!
Being that my last step-girlfriend relationship just managed to fall to pieces again, perhaps I’ll take a breather before I try to get to know a new kid. Thanks.