casualties
by rantywoman
Unfortunately, when joblessness drags on it creates casualties, and mine are mounting. To wit:
My mother. Her emails and phone messages offering (perhaps) well-intentioned but ill-informed, condescending, and downright clueless job-hunting advice may well cause me to have a rage-induced stroke someday. She is bored and lonely, and I moved here partly to ameliorate that, but right now this plane is going down and I have to get my oxygen mask on first before I can think about helping someone else. I have refused her recent suggestions of a visit as I think it would not be healthy for either of us right now.
My fling. Given that he is in a position to help me in my job search but hasn’t done so and hasn’t even invited me to parties and events that would help me network within my area of interest, I cannot bring myself to respond to his sexting. The fact that he has shown zero concern over my job search and, rather than bolster my confidence as other friends have done, has instead questioned my skills, makes me feel about as amorous towards him as a dying sloth.
My friend in similar circumstances. I have a friend here who is in similar circumstances in all aspects of her life, but her approach to them is so diametrically opposed to mine that I think it’s better for both of us to avoid conversation. We’ve always gotten along, but there’s an edge, as it’s obvious we disagree so heartily on the issues plaguing us.
My former co-workers. Awkward. Enough said.
The “positive thinker.” I have a friend here in his early sixties who I like very much, but he was out of work for years and years and then scored a job when he wanted one because his best friend runs a major organization in town. He keeps telling me I’m being way too negative and I have no way of knowing that I won’t find a job here. It is hard for me to bite my tongue, but I’ve been doing so because I like him and don’t want yet another casualty.
thebitterbabe 
I have bitten enough holes through my tongue over the years that I feel complete sympathy. A friend who can afford to be “out of work for years and years” and then took a job handed to him by his powerful/influential best friend is perhaps not the best dispenser of job hunting advice to those less well-connected. Like you. And me. He’s no doubt well-intentioned and probably means to buoy your spirits, but your skepticism about the job market in your city sounds like it’s grounded in stark reality, not “negativity.” I think the route you have taken — of looking hard for work both in your current city as well as further afield — is the ONLY prudent course of action.
Agreed. I’ve gotten nothing but negative results from every route I’ve tried here… canvassing my friends, applying to job ads, utilizing employment agencies, and applying to jobs within my field. The only area I could try further is employment agencies, and that’s never been the best route. As much as I like this friend, I seriously doubt he would have found any kind of job here without a connection.
I am surprised that you consider yourself “jobless.” You left Los Angeles and your job to try another lifestyle in your current city. It seems like you have a job guaranteed back in Los Angeles. So don’t stress– if it doesn’t work out in current city- you go back to Los Angeles. (I would chose job with highest pay).
In terms of a social life, I understand your past history in Los Angeles, but maybe living in a suburban area might be better– people are more settled, less people trying to make it! Suburbs have lots of single moms and dads- plus people with older children.
Yes, I am grateful for that potential escape hatch.