by rantywoman

I have friends who believe that age doesn’t matter to men when it comes to dating, that women can have babies into their late forties (just look at the celebrities!), and that being an older single woman is no different than being a younger one. Yet they can’t introduce me to eligible men and, if single, they themselves are struggling socially.

I’ve had to recede from these friends in order to grieve, come to terms with (what I believe to be) reality, and refocus my energies and plans for the future.

Along the same vein, I have friends here who pooh-pooh me when I express my concerns that I may not be able to find a job and thus may not be able to stay. They say, “You’ll find something.” Or, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Or, “Have you tried…?” What they don’t do is point me to an actual opening or person I could speak to about a job.

My gut feeling about my job prospects here is that they are not good. Not good at all.

Once again, I’ve had to cocoon in order to grieve, re-strategize, create timelines, review finances. I have a plan of attack in terms of job searching that will take me through the end of the year, and if I can at least find an agreeable part-time or long-term temp job, I’ll stay through the spring, keep taking classes, and keep on the lookout for a job situation that can sustain me over the long-haul. If not, I’ll have to start applying nationally within a couple of months.

Between my classes (language, dance, sewing), my free weekly tennis games, yoga, swimming, and volunteering on the farm, I get out of the house, but I’ve stopped going out at night or doing anything else really that requires spending money. It’s been lonely, and I’ve felt a lack of fun, but when I realized why I was needing to cocoon, I came to a sense of peace about it.