the bad daughter
by rantywoman
My mother is a woman who has unfortunate tendencies toward insensitivity, uninformed ideas, contradictory advice, and hysteria. Since she is nearing eighty and unlikely to change, I’ve tried really hard not to lose my temper with her and to spend some quality time with her.
If the job market was friendlier here or I had some support from a partner, this would be easier to accomplish. Since neither of those things are true, I’ve come to dread talking with her on the phone. I’m trying to remain calm and positive in the face of adversity; unfortunately she is no help in that regard.
I feel guilty about it, but I cannot be a good daughter when things are not going well, and she makes them worse.
thebitterbabe 
You’re not alone in this. Mothers who think they’re tactful for not pestering one with demands about when one will find a nice man (it’s usually that assumption) and provide her with grandchildren can be incredibly demanding of single daughters. Simply because the daughter doesn’t have a partner and/or child(ren), the mother assumes that she needs to focus that capacity for caring elsewhere, ie on the mother.
There’s nothing wrong with focusing it on oneself; indeed, it may well be essential. Being unintentionally single and/or childless, let alone also struggling with an inimical job market, is a hard enough row to have to keep hoeing by oneself.
Thank you for the support.