never married, over forty, a little bitter


I like this piece and find it rings true. I feel I’m there but have lost the taste for the dating game, so I’m unsure how I’d find anyone outside of happenstance. I have really appreciated lately a couple of men who have shown me compassion during my job search, but one is married (struggling, but still married and at a completely different stage of life) and one is now living in New York. I appreciate them all the same.

Kindness and availability become more important to you

As we lose our taste for attractions of deprivation, we usually experience a temporary void in our dating life. We know we don’t want the pain of past relationships, but nothing else seems as exciting. In time, (and often with guidance) we begin to seek what I call attractions of inspiration.

These attractions are based upon a (basically) consistent quality of shared kindness, generosity, and emotional availability. They often unfold slowly. They get richer as time goes on. They make us feel love, not desperation.


I’ve definitely stopped looking, and so far, no one is showing up. I think I’ve given up– if not all– quite a bit of hope. It does feel a little strange and uncomfortable and on occasion even deadening, but most of the time I’m okay.

I don’t believe it’s possible to not be looking. To not look is to give up any hope of finding love. As far as I can tell, there is no better feeling in the world than to love and be loved. Why would you ever give up on finding that? Why would you ever stop looking?

the empty middle

After earning a degree in human resources management, Galipeau found that 56 was too old to start a new career. Fortunate enough to draw a full pension from Carrier, Galipeau took a part-time job at a supermarket meat counter, for the health insurance. Syracuse’s leading vocations are now education and medicine – the training of the young and the preservation of the old. Where nothing is left for the middle-aged, or the middle class, it’s difficult to be both.