When I first moved back here, I wrote a post on my discovery that many of my earlier instincts about people had turned out to be on the nose. When I was younger, I kept many of my impressions to myself. I often assumed that when interactions were “off” that I was the one in the wrong. Now that I have more confidence and am more willing to speak up about my impressions, I’m finding out that I’m far from alone.
My instincts have recently been confirmed again. A little more than ten years ago, when I was in my early thirties, I was involved in a scene here in which a fifty-year-old man was a prominent figure. The scene consisted of a large number of twentysomethings (and some even younger) and a smaller but not insignificant sliver of people in their thirties.
This particular figurehead never gave me the time of day. I never expected him to be romantically interested– I certainly wasn’t — or to single me out as someone who had talent (I didn’t, particularly). What I did expect was some recognition that I was closer in age (and thus maturity) to him than all the youngsters and some natural conversational pull due to being peers. Instead, I got the impression that these were actually negatives to him.
I recently found out that this person is in prison due to child pornography charges (young teen girls, apparently). He plead guilty. Since then it’s come to light that people had gossiped for years about his predilection for pursuing the youngest “girls” on the scene. I came across a comment by a woman on a message board in which she said she found him creepy because if you were female and over thirty you were “invisible” to him.
And there you are.