thebitterbabe

The final book should be appearing soon. I’ve given myself five or six days to get these out; school starts next week so this is all the time I have.

The “slurp” function hasn’t been working for me, so I’ve been painstakingly dragging and dropping each entry into the book versions. Nothing is edited. The books are simply the blog printed from oldest entries to newest.

I apologize again about the high prices; they are reflective of “print on demand.” Despite the cost, I think the book versions would be valuable for women who are currently traveling through the tunnel of grief or for researchers writing on this topic.

What will be my future going forward? Spanish II starts next week as does an eight-week sewing class. I would love to stay unemployed through October so I can get through the sewing class and then try to finish the Spanish class while working full-time. If my job search drags on, the bright side will be that I’ll get all the way through Spanish IV!

Although I was hoping not to have to go back to work full-time, I applied for yet another professional position at my former organization. I calculate that I just need to put in another ten years before I could buy back some years and retire. It’s worth it, therefore, for me to continue on that path. I also applied for some other government jobs that would tie into the same pension and to one job that is in the private sector but a little more glamorous (and I’m guessing low-paying).

I’m toying with some self-employment ideas as well, but they are all long shots and probably wouldn’t support me fully. I also keep my eye out for part-time jobs, but I hate to start something I may have to quickly drop for a full-time job. The timing of everything is tricky.

I wish I could pick my date to go back to work, which I suppose is the glory of paid sabbaticals. If I could, I’d pick next June! Yet I recognize that having a job would give me some grounding and a sense of relief that I don’t have to move again.

Moving back to L.A. wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to me, but I’m unenthusiastic about the idea, as I know what I’d be getting into this time around. The dream vision of L.A. is gone for me. I’m already in very little touch with my old friends there, and trying to find another apartment would be a nightmare. Having escaped once, it’s also difficult for me to imagine going back to my former place of employment.

I could make it work though; I’ve learned that much about myself.