I socialized recently with a married woman who is a mother, and I noticed that a big topic with her is marriage and children. Whenever she talked about other people, she would mention that they were married and had X number of children. It’s just not the way I think anymore.
I’m so grateful that I’ve found a number of activities that don’t revolve around families, from a tennis group to a Spanish language group to more dance classes. I met a particularly interesting older woman in the Spanish group; she had been a professional dancer in N.Y.C. and then an organic farmer for twenty years. She had also lived in a number of different countries and had moved to this city on a whim. A long-term single, she is preparing to retire to her home state to be near family and old friends.
Although I’ve been spending time with other single and childless women, thus far I haven’t had the chance to pursue organizations that specifically cater to the “childfree.” I see this as a good sign. My calendar is already full with activities where I feel comfortable.
And I certainly enjoy these activities more than I do “standing around” at a bar or networking event or even seeing a show. I probably always felt that way, but one big difference about getting older for me is that I decidedly prefer learning and being active over showing up somewhere hoping for something to happen to me.