pain management
by rantywoman
So I’m back to my original plan of taking classes, upgrading my job skills, poking around new career possibilities, and searching for part-time jobs. There will be some more vacancies this fall at my old organization, and I will apply for those when they open. I’m expecting the hiring process to take anywhere from two to six months, so in the meantime I’ll explore other options. I don’t, however, have much faith in the twentysomething woman (I’ll call her SanDeE after the character in L.A. Story) with whom I’m working at an employment agency.
My roommate is currently thrilled with his new promotion into another management job in which he can do as little as possible. My reward for working so hard in L.A.? I may be unable to find a job here and may have to drag my tired body back there for more abuse.
I had my first visit with a doctor here last week and she said we could, over time, experiment with lowering my medication. If I have to move again, that’s off, of course. For that reason and the fact that it’s so much easier to live here, I think it’s in my best interest to stay.
I do, however, confess to being a bit bored. It’s me and not the city; there are plenty of things going on, but having left a global city, and having lived here before, I have yet to rouse a great amount of enthusiasm for anything.
Also, the dating scene seems dismal. I do get hit on by youngsters stacking shelves at grocery stores and manning the doors at music clubs and in general get “checked out” way more than I did in L.A., but when it comes to men my age I don’t have much hope. The dating sites have the slimmest pickings I’ve ever seen, and not one of the eight or ten forty-to-fiftysomething friends I have here has so much as mentioned anyone they could introduce me to. I honestly don’t think they know of a soul.
When one lives in New York or Los Angeles, a big part of life is the adventure of living in New York or Los Angeles. In these smaller cities, it does seem like the only point of adult life is getting married and having kids. I’m struggling for a third path– using the slower pace to work on creative projects, form community, and continue learning. I don’t know if I’ll be successful long-term or if this will be enough.
If I do have to move back to L.A., I will sell my place, chalk this up to a failed experiment, and figure that it’s simply not the right place for me anymore. I’m a little daunted by the prospect of losing my only piece of real estate and committing long term to L.A., though. I could also move elsewhere… more decisions.
In any case, I am refusing to feel guilty about this break. I needed it. I pushed through so much mentally in Los Angeles, but my body balked, and I ended up with a chronic condition. I enjoyed another recent Dr. Drew podcast with Anna David in which she discusses this same issue; she thought she could handle anything mentally but her body eventually broke down:
thebitterbabe 
I’m surprised you moved back to your hometown(I have been casually following your blog but don’t read every post). Unless you moved back for a solid reason like to care for a sick parent I think it’s a waste of time. You moved away in the first place for a reason don’t look back.
I want to move out of my hometown which is in the northeast. One thing I do know is that I do not want to spend the rest of my life in the city I currently live in. I could never imagine moving back if in theory I already left.
I moved back for several reasons– I own property here, my entire family lives in this state, and my job in California was super-stressful and building a social life there was incredibly difficult. You are right, though– I moved away in the first place for a handful of reasons and I’m finding a lot of those reasons still exist.
Hi Ranty- I mentioned teaching before as a possible job option for you– but is it possible for you to a substitute teacher?
I’m going to look into regular temp work first so that I can try out different workplaces. I don’t think I’d want to be a teacher– not hearing good things about that profession right now. I’m also in the midst of trying to figure out how to temp or get a part-time job while enrolled in school.
Maybe you might have better luck living in another bigger city that is not NYC or LA. I think those cities are truly overrated in terms of ‘finding’ yourself. I’m pretty sure your an introverted person and that could be one reason why you didn’t have long term success in meshing well with LA culture. I think those cities are truly for the extraverted personality who love the glitz and glamour and are not concerned with building a ‘deep’ relationship with people.
One thing about NYC and LA is that living in either place is an amazing experience, BUT you are left will little time and energy for your own projects. At least I have time for more of those now, especially while I’m out of work. I’m renewing my commitment to making the most of this time!