avenues
by rantywoman
As I’ve been getting out on the town lately I’ve been reflecting on the last two decades and evaluating which kinds of activities I’ve met people at in the past (be they friends or boyfriends) and which kinds I haven’t. Here is my assessment:
art shows and events– I’ve been to a bunch of fun and interesting ones, but I’ve never met a single person at them. Never.
readings and lectures– I love to read but ditto. I’ve never met anyone, and oftentimes readings can be dreary.
concerts– Once in a blue moon I’ve met someone, especially if there is seating that is conducive to conversation.
dancing– I’ve met a lot of people through dancing.
sporting events– I rarely go and have never met anyone.
playing a sport– I’ve definitely met a few people that way.
classes– Same; I’ve made lots of contacts through classes.
singles events– Never, or at least not any contacts I’d want to pursue.
bars– ditto
sitting in a restaurant– My mother likes to suggest this one. I’ve never met anyone this way.
thebitterbabe 
Other than “sitting in a restaurant” (?!), I’ve met people at most of these types of events/activities, although almost without exception they are other single middle-aged women — many of them very accomplished, smart, pretty, and yet, like myself, more or less adrift socially. I live in NYC, and your experience in LA very much resonates with me. I both admire and envy you your opportunity to start more or less afresh in a smaller urban area, but my career is firmly grounded here and precludes the possibility of relocating. I nonetheless follow your story with interest.
Thanks for writing in and I’m glad to know you are following the blog. It remains to be seen whether things will be better here. Worst case scenario things will be more or less the same– I think this city offers enough of the LA/ NYC amenities for that.
I always find my friends come out of a having a common goal – some project you work on together. Either a team sport or theater production or volunteer project or a club of some sort (Sierra club?, Meetup?, a craigslist post for a Spanish-language partner?).
Although lately the graveyard of internet dating is providing friends… i still like my friends to come from shared activities.
Yes, I agree that clubs and sports are the way to go. Unfortunately the communal farm shut down, but I’m still looking into things. My sewing class hasn’t been that social but other ones could be. Once I have the job situation figured out that will help me plan more.