floundering

by rantywoman

When I first moved to L.A., I did some online dating, attended various events, joined a few organizations, and travelled around the area to see the sights. I felt the excitement of being in a new city, but my life was pretty random. I hadn’t plugged into any one activity or scene that really engaged my attention.

Almost three years in, I heard a performer on the radio who really made me both laugh and think. Some time after that, I joined Facebook and ended up “friending” him. And some time after that, I posted something emotional on my page, and he, out of the blue, responded with a heartfelt email. In our writing back and forth he mentioned a podcast he participated in, so I started listening to it. The podcast then opened up a world of people and activities that engaged me for the next three years.

In moving back here, I wanted to concentrate more on my own hobbies than on a social life because I wasn’t sure what the social opportunities would be. I am enjoying the Spanish and the sewing and the cooking, but I’m still trying to get out and about before I get trapped back in another job.

I’ve been attending several events a week, and while they’ve been fun, it’s struck me that I’m in the “random” phase again. Nothing in particular is sticking; I’m simply traveling from event to event. I’ve realized that as much effort as I put into getting out, finding something I’m passionate about will come down to luck and chance.

Hopefully at some point the stars will align and something or someone will grab my attention in that way that gives focus to my life and a reason to get out of bed and get going in the morning.

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