I met an attractive man my first weekend here and we had a little flirtation, but he didn’t try to pursue things. I debated sending him a Facebook friend request; everything tells me that if I have to make even that small of an initial move, it’s doomed. But I did it anyway. I’d rather cross him off and move on if he’s not interested. Perhaps showing any kind of forward behavior kills things before they can bud, but I just can’t spend the time trying to cross paths with him again.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who debates these things:
The lesson here? Just be fully aware that when you click on the “Add as Friend” button, you’re sending a signal of potential interest. But don’t let that stop you – friend requesting a guy can be the perfect compromise of lighting the fire, while still allowing him to ultimately make the first real move and propel the courtship forward (those caveman tendencies never die, do they??).
Yet even Andy concedes that friend requesting a guy may be a smart strategy for testing the waters, if he hasn’t already come a-knocking. “Facebook is a great passive way to keep in touch,” he confesses. And as for following up on an initial meeting via friend request? “Look, there’s a 95% chance that he isn’t worth a lick if he didn’t have the courage to get your phone number, but there’s always that 5% chance. Only way to find out for sure? Facebook him.”