the streets
by rantywoman
The tale of the teenage runaway is a familiar one– unhappy boy or girl flees an abusive family and heads for the big city only to find predatory strangers waiting to exploit him or her.
As a well-educated, thirtysomething professional, I couldn’t have been farther from a teenage runaway when I moved to L.A. And yet. My family of origin was an unhappy one, and I’ve had dreams since my early twenties of finding a substitute family that would provide the love, support, and companionship we all crave. Instead, like many others, what I found in the “big city” leg of this journey was abusive bosses, fickle friends, noncommittal partners, and plenty of craziness.
Being back at home with my mother (leaving soon!) has made me feel as if there’s little solace anywhere except for that I create myself. Kudos to all us long-term singles! If not broken, we certainly are strong.
This visit home would have been much easier if I’d had a partner by my side and we had breezed in and out together. Along those lines I was looking at old photo albums and cringing at my awkward youth– braces, bad hairstyles, the usual. The Hollywood ideal is that we grow up, blossom, fall in love, create our own families, and then look back and laugh at our awkward youth.
If that doesn’t happen, inside do we remain the girl with the hideous headgear? It can take an incredible amount of self-development not to.
thebitterbabe 
I do hope you’ll feel better when you’re settled in your own space, and can work towards creating the solace to which you refer. How long before you’ll be in your own apartment/house?
Finally in my own space and although I’m now on the second part of the journey– unpacking and settling in– I already feel so much better. Within a few days I had several lunch and dinner dates set up with old friends, which is helping me feel much better about my decision to return.
I, too, have been trying to create a community of “love, companionship, support and fun” since the same time. I am now in my 40’s with very little long term success. I am feeling very sad about this now as I read my friend’s fb post of all the love love love she is feeling with her family and child. Makes me feel like I am missing something integral.
Anyways, in your case, there appears to be lots of positive things happening for you. I hope you get what you need.
I feel that way a lot, but I will say people are much friendlier here.