the fortress
by rantywoman
Unfortunately I’ve been more of a “giver” than a “receiver” over this long, grueling, emotional and physical journey, and at this point I’m all tapped out.
At the end of the driving journey, my mom came out to the car with about five minutes of “oh you must be exhausted,” but this was swiftly followed by a nonstop barrage of advice, directions, and her own personal concerns that is still going strong.
Hopefully I’ll be moved into my own place in a week or two. I need to stay strong for the rest of this month while I finish pulling off the logistics.
I’ve had absolutely no time to process anything and am hiding behind a blank emotional wall until I can breathe again.
On a positive note, my old friends are getting in touch over email. I’ve only had the strength to offer tepid responses, but it’s nice to feel the welcome.
thebitterbabe 
Oh Ranty- the last time I visited my mom- I ended up emotional binging on crackers– although at my own place I rarely binge and eat crackers. In fact eat salad for dinner most nights. This prompted serious concerns for my mom that I might be gaining weight and am unhealthy. Sigh.
Be strong! This situation is just a tunnel you need to pass through.
Yes, that’s a great way to describe it! I wish I could have just journeyed straight to my place, but it was impossible. I also thought it would be nice to spend some (limited) time with my mom, but I am just so drained emotionally and she doesn’t have the capability to truly empathize with that and give me the space and downtime I need.
Set up a meetings for coffee or cocktails with some of those old friends. It will get you out of your mom’s house and launch you on your new life. Good luck!
Yes it will do me a world of good to start socializing here again!