bulwarks

by rantywoman

http://www.salon.com/2007/03/09/the_rest_of_life/

Have a regimen and a routine, a thing you do that always works, so that you can always do it when people fail you. It’s something different for everybody. If you don’t have anything that always works, find something and perfect it — a certain drink that never fails, a song that gives you goose bumps, a certain walk on a certain path that always elevates your spirits, a meditation that always calms you, a food you always like to eat.

You need somebody you can always call, too, but people will change and even if they stay the same they die, and then they’re gone. You can’t depend on them. You need more lasting bulwarks. You will find a favorite meeting you always like to go to and then everyone will buy houses and move away. You will find a friend who promises you things and doesn’t come through. So a practice that always works must be solitary or of the earth or of the mind; people will change and let you down. You need something older than people.

So live near a river or a mountain or a stream. Live near something you can walk to where you go, Ah.

I also love this response, as it is what I am working towards now:

Thought experiment

Imagine for a moment that there are no suitable sexual or romantic partners for you at all in the world. You will never have sex or romance again, at all, ever, no matter what you do or how hard you try.

So what do you do now? What do you do with your time? What do you do for a social life? Within these parameters, what will make you happiest?

You don’t have to answer right away. Think about it, sleep on it, meditate, reflect. Then whenever you arrive at the answer, start living your life that way, and make your ability to live your life that way sacred and untouchable.

If you find someone who might make a suitable romantic or sexual partner, let him in if he fits in with your new sacred and untouchable life plan. If he doesn’t fit, he won’t make you happy.

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