never married, over forty, a little bitter


Have a regimen and a routine, a thing you do that always works, so that you can always do it when people fail you. It’s something different for everybody. If you don’t have anything that always works, find something and perfect it — a certain drink that never fails, a song that gives you goose bumps, a certain walk on a certain path that always elevates your spirits, a meditation that always calms you, a food you always like to eat.

You need somebody you can always call, too, but people will change and even if they stay the same they die, and then they’re gone. You can’t depend on them. You need more lasting bulwarks. You will find a favorite meeting you always like to go to and then everyone will buy houses and move away. You will find a friend who promises you things and doesn’t come through. So a practice that always works must be solitary or of the earth or of the mind; people will change and let you down. You need something older than people.

So live near a river or a mountain or a stream. Live near something you can walk to where you go, Ah.

I also love this response, as it is what I am working towards now:

Thought experiment

Imagine for a moment that there are no suitable sexual or romantic partners for you at all in the world. You will never have sex or romance again, at all, ever, no matter what you do or how hard you try.

So what do you do now? What do you do with your time? What do you do for a social life? Within these parameters, what will make you happiest?

You don’t have to answer right away. Think about it, sleep on it, meditate, reflect. Then whenever you arrive at the answer, start living your life that way, and make your ability to live your life that way sacred and untouchable.

If you find someone who might make a suitable romantic or sexual partner, let him in if he fits in with your new sacred and untouchable life plan. If he doesn’t fit, he won’t make you happy.

tough chicks

Both good points about L.A.:

I don’t know….I agree with some of what the other posters said. But are you looking to date? It’s pathetically hard here for women in ANY age group. There’s really no social support for people, even through spiritual means and although I grew up here (in L.A. proper-the Westside), I have to say that people are just not friendly here. Oh, they’re friendly enough, but to make real, lasting friendships and intimate realtionships, it’s tough. It’s a tough place; tough on the psyche. There are lots of things to do, that’s true. But you’ll probably be doing most of those things alone. If you can find a place to buy, go for it, but consider everything you’re looking for in a “quality of life”.

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Basically what I tell friends around the country. If you desire to work in the Entertainment Industry and make it big, you need to come to LA at some point, or possibly NYC. If you grew up here or went to school here, that’s a different story, ya got roots. Other than that, there are so many other places of better quality of life, within California and elsewhere.

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