turning the corner
Bolick: It’s not true and in fact, I forget what the statistic is, but numbers show that most people get married eventually and the more educated you are, you push off marriage is another statistic but you still get married and the older you are when you get married, the more likely it is that your marriage will not end in divorce. What I tend to find is that women in their 40s who have never been married are saying, “Yeah. I went through a phase where I wanted it and I thought I was going to have it and I was upset that I didn’t and then I turned some corner at some point where I realized that I was actually incredibly happy with my life and my work and the way that I am living right now.” And so if I’ve wanted anything to come out of this article conversation, it’s that I’ve wanted there to be a more positive conversation around what it means to be single. Single people aren’t the lonely, pity-able souls that we have historically considered them to be and my message is not, “Stay single forever. Down with marriage.” It’s, “If you are single, there is so much potential in a life that’s unfettered by another. Enjoy that time while you have it.”
Just as there is joy in being in a good relationship there is also joy to be had being single/alone. And, I think, it’s necessary to be single at least part of the time to grow, know who you are, develop yourself to be truly whole. Not that I am angst free (I am not) but I do believe to enjoy wherever you are in your life and make the most of it. I experienced lots of joy in both states.