lowered expectations

by rantywoman

In the face of these problems and many more, we might question our expectations of how often we can rightly look forward to sex going well for us– and, contrary to the spirit of the age, might conclude that a handful of occasions in a lifetime may be a fair and natural limit to our ambitions. Great sex, like happiness more generally, may be the precious and sublime exception.

During our most fortunate encounters, it is rare for us to appreciate how privileged we are. It is only as we get older, and look back repeatedly and nostalgically to a few erotic episodes, that we start to realize with what stinginess nature extends her gifts to us– and therefore what an extraordinary and rare achievement of biology, psychology and timing satisfying sex really is.

— Alain de Botton, How to Think More About Sex, p. 10