the flip
by rantywoman
My friends and acquaintances who are moms often talk to me about the things they do with their children on the weekends– the Pixar films, the gymnastics lessons– as well as their visits to their children’s schools and the meeting of their teachers.
These activities do seem to bring them feelings of purpose, connection, and joy, but 2013 is proving to be the “big flip” for me in that, when I hear these stories, the only thing I feel is palpable relief that I don’t have to deal with any of it and a lack of understanding as to where in the hell people find the time.
My hours off work are crammed full with swimming and dance and reading reading reading and cooking and the occasional night on the town with friends and once in a while a movie or TV show. I am waking up to the fact that it’s just how I like it! The burdensome tasks I have to carry out for myself– laundry, doctor visits, cleaning up– are more than enough.
I’m sure if I had children I would adjust, but I don’t, and I realize I’ve gone too far down the other path now.
thebitterbabe 
Right on! I feel the same … Although I still do regularly have moments of loneliness and wondering if I am not a “complete” woman without the experience of raising offspring, I also confess to frequent feelings of relief (and even glee) when I remind myself that my home is my castle and my income is free for me to do whatever the hell I want with it (as long as I’m reasonably prudent planning for contingencies, of course). My big “flip” this year seems to be coming to terms with the fact that I may well be a loner at heart – not necessarily an antisocial one, but somebody whose default nature tends towards solitary contemplation or who at the very least needs big swaths of alone time to recharge. It’s a lifestyle that seems incompatible with raising young kids, and maybe even living full time with someone. Hmmm….
I have those same feelings. Also, I was at a venue this weekend with a bunch of married fortysomethings who have kids, and I felt two things:
1) They seemed and, I think, looked much older than me
2) I live a deeply unusual life (which is both gratifying and frightening in that I wonder if I can ever find a compatible person now)