going gaga

by rantywoman

The chapter Gaga Relations: The End of Marriage in the book Gaga Feminism by J. Jack Halberstam is worth reading in its entirety, but here are a few choice bits:

In terms of principled opposition to gay marriage, some queer scholars have tried to expose the ways in which young people are led to believe that marriage and babies represent the only future within which they can live out their adult desires. And so, we lead young girls in particular to believe that they will be swept naturally along from one life-defining event to another– that love leads to marriage, marriage to babies, babies to family contentment, and that once in the shelter of the family, life will be sweet, simple, and fulfilling. And for some people, fairy tales really do come true. But for most of us, the arc along which our lives will play out will be considerably more complicated than this normal timeline implies. There will be stops and starts, ups and downs, and the family, rather than a sanctuary, may for many be a kind of prison that we assiduously avoid. p. 111

Marriage, the supposedly “big” event in the life of a young person, is, as so many feminists have pointed out, as much of an ending as a beginning… and for too many people, especially young women, alternative life paths are shut down, by themselves and society, almost before they have even been considered.
p. 112

Making the wedding into the money shot of the rom-com means raising and then overturning all objections to marriage in order to make the wedding meaningful, hard won, and a triumph
. p. 118

While screenplay writers get rich by feeding this shit into a machine and turning out one bad script after another, the marriage myth grows while the divorce rate rockets upward. Hell, we could all write these scripts in our spare time… they resist each other, break up, nearly get back together again but don’t and then do. pp. 120-121