never married, over forty, a little bitter

story lines

“Oh, don’t take that baby from Rosie,” a woman interjected. “She clearly needs to hold onto him a little longer so that the baby bug will bite her.”

I walked into the kitchen and cleaned the meatball dish because it was better than standing around and making conversation with someone who would say that to a woman she’s only met once and whom she knew nothing about.

It’s a funny thing we do to each other—especially to girls and young women. We force a certain storyline on them. We call our girls princesses and have them dress up as brides at the youngest of ages. But the princess rarely saves herself in the story, and the bride is always waiting for her groom.

— Rosie Molinary, Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance, pp. 177-178


From Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D, p. 184:

If you have attempted to fit whatever mold and failed to do so, you are probably lucky. You may be an exile of some sort, but you have sheltered your soul. There is an odd phenomenon that occurs when one keeps trying to fit and fails. Even though the outcast is driven away, she is at the same time driven right into the arms of her psychic and true kin, whether these be a course of study, an art form, or a group of people. It is worse to stay where one does not belong at all than to wander about lost for a while and looking for the psychic and soulful kinship one requires. It is never a mistake to search for what one requires. Never.

There is something useful in all this torque and tension… While this situation is not one we would wish on anyone for any reason, its effect is similar to pure natural carbon under pressure producing diamonds– it leads eventually to a profound magnitude and clarity of psyche.

While exile is not a thing to desire for the fun of it, there is an unexpected gain from it; the gifts of exile are many. It takes out weakness by the pounding. It removes whininess, enables acute insight, heightens intuition, grants the power of keen observation and perspective that the “insider” can never achieve.

Even though there are negative aspects to it, the wild psyche can endure exile. It makes us yearn that much more to free our own true nature and causes us to long for a culture to match… It makes a woman go on looking, and if she cannot find a culture tat encourages her, then she usually decides to construct it herself. And that is good, because if she builds it, others who have been looking for a long time will mysteriously arrive one day enthusiastically proclaiming that they have been looking for this all along.

And on that note: