job performance

by rantywoman

I completely relate to this blogger’s post:

  • I’m going  into phases of deep despair, because I feel like I’m losing hope in social justice, community-based work- the work that I’ve been doing for years now and that makes me really really sad because if I don’t believe in the work that I’m doing then why I am here. As in, I thought that this was my life’s purpose.
  • I’m bitter, jaded and frustrated.
  • I feel like we can’t make social change because we’re up against these giant systems.  And the gap between the haves and have nots just becomes wider and wider in my eyes as I see it played out in my work. As I start to realize that the people I work with will only get so far in life and will continue to struggle and middle-class people like me will rise farther up the ladder (until we plateau).

My way of handling this lately is through distraction.  When I wake up, I think of writing on my blog.  I might do some kundalini yoga.  I think about books I’m reading while at work and often look up reviews of them.  Sometimes I compose new blog posts in my head, or if I have time alone in my office, I will listen to a podcast or some music.  I also think about what I want to do over the weekend or about a weekday event.  I go to dance or yoga after work.

I give some headspace to the job of course– I couldn’t perform otherwise– but it’s no longer what primarily motivates me.