broken records
by rantywoman
After a few initial blow-ups, my mother and I were able to get along, but I did have to put up an internal wall because she is stuck in lamenting her (current) single state as well as mine and in discussing strategies for developing new romances, whereas I just don’t feel particularly interested in those topics anymore.
Bravo for this:
http://gateway-women.com/2012/12/25/christmas-will-be-different-next-year/#comments
thebitterbabe 
Indeed…..I did that this year and I feel a whole lot better. I am ME and I love me……warts and all……:-) Happy holidays 🙂
Hi Ranty
I’m so with you on the ‘dating’ angle. I came to realise that in my case, once I’d stopped ‘hoping’ to become a mother (age 44, it took a looonnnggg time!) I also realised that I’d taken off the ‘babygoggles’ with regard to men.
I realised that once I was no longer looking at every man i met as a ‘potential father’ for my children, I saw them quite differently. I should imagine that babygoggles are pretty obvious to men too…
And then I came to understand that if I wasn’t looking for ‘father material’, I needed to be clear what I was looking for! And that actually, I didn’t know anymore! The years of babymania had so skewed my ideas about men, women & relationships that I didn’t have a clue anymore. So I retired from the whole dating arena, and haven’t missed it at all!
After a few years alone, I feel ready for a relationship again,and I have an idea of what it is I’m looking for. The great news is, there’s no rush. No ticking clock. It really doesn’t matter when I meet him – now, or in 5 or 10 years time. I no longer feel like I need ‘completing’ by a man. I have meaningful work (Gateway Women), and being stretched by my psychotherapy training and my horizons seem broad and unknown. I have great new friends (both on and offline) that I’ve met through Gateway Women, my other work as a freelance writer/PR and at college. My life is pretty full, and feels very satisfying. I get pissed off that I never get invited anywhere as a single, childless woman, but even that’s starting to fade. My life has taken a different path, and I’m starting to feel grateful and excited about that.
In time, the man I’d like to meet is a fellow traveller – both internally and externally: I’m sure our paths will cross one day.
And I shall leave you with a fantastic quote from Ram Dass:
“If you think you’re enlightened; go spend a week with your parents.”
Do I need to say more!!!
Jody x
http://www.gateway-women.com
That’s a great quote, thanks!
I feel pretty much the same regarding dating. I figure I get out quite a bit and so hopefully I will one day stumble across a compatible mate while doing the things I enjoy. Otherwise I just can’t worry about it anymore.
Also feeling the same about the different path my life has taken, with, of course, the occasional “wobble.”
I recommend Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman. Got me through Xmas.
Loved that one too– I wrote about or mentioned it in the posts “picky,” “ecstacy,” “sex appeal,” “wiseass,” and “something cheerier.” Or you can search “Caitlin Moran” in the search box. Feel free to provide your thoughts!
“After a few initial blow-ups, my mother and I were able to get along”
That’s my experience too 😉
The excerpt above by Gateway women reminds me a bit of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quotes…: although, being married with kids, I am not the typical woman the blog is directed towards – I still think it’s great and inspiring for women in general.
My favorite ES quotes:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
“You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude”
“Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively; unless you can choose a challenge instead of competence.”
and
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
All good ones.
oops – that should be ER not ES.