the unraveling

by rantywoman

Eons ago I posted about a mid-thirties acquaintance who was determined to have children, despite what seemed to me an essentially self-interested nature.  She found a partner amazingly quickly and had a couple of beautiful kids.

I just discovered that she’s divorced and apparently has been for years.  I am always skeptical of those quickie marriages!  Naturally, though, she has found a new partner and is remarrying.

Another friend of mine did essentially the same thing in terms of her marriage and within a few years was ready to divorce her husband.  She was already stressed out as a stay-at-home mom, so I cautioned her against leaving her husband and taking on the full load.  She lucked into a small fortune soon thereafter and got her divorce.

Now she sends long, plaintive emails about how tough it is, handling the kids on her own.  I don’t want to denigrate her trials or play “I’ve got it tougher than you,” but I know with absolute certainty that she wouldn’t last a week at my job, so it does sometimes get a bit difficult to hold my tongue.

A third friend is getting divorced after a long marriage and her spouse’s affair and is now shouldering the burden of the childcare as well and is feeling hard done by.  I tell her that, although things did not end well, at least she has a child.  If you wait for the “right” situation, as I did, you take the gamble that you will end up childless.

Admittedly, though, that is seeming like less and less of a tragedy.