the unraveling
by rantywoman
Eons ago I posted about a mid-thirties acquaintance who was determined to have children, despite what seemed to me an essentially self-interested nature. She found a partner amazingly quickly and had a couple of beautiful kids.
I just discovered that she’s divorced and apparently has been for years. I am always skeptical of those quickie marriages! Naturally, though, she has found a new partner and is remarrying.
Another friend of mine did essentially the same thing in terms of her marriage and within a few years was ready to divorce her husband. She was already stressed out as a stay-at-home mom, so I cautioned her against leaving her husband and taking on the full load. She lucked into a small fortune soon thereafter and got her divorce.
Now she sends long, plaintive emails about how tough it is, handling the kids on her own. I don’t want to denigrate her trials or play “I’ve got it tougher than you,” but I know with absolute certainty that she wouldn’t last a week at my job, so it does sometimes get a bit difficult to hold my tongue.
A third friend is getting divorced after a long marriage and her spouse’s affair and is now shouldering the burden of the childcare as well and is feeling hard done by. I tell her that, although things did not end well, at least she has a child. If you wait for the “right” situation, as I did, you take the gamble that you will end up childless.
Admittedly, though, that is seeming like less and less of a tragedy.
thebitterbabe 
“Admittedly, though, that is seeming like less and less of a tragedy.”
That’s really good 🙂 If you don’t mind my saying so, it sounds like this blog has worked in terms of working through it all, and you are ready or almost ready to go on to another adventure as you often mention. I say go. Go see, you’ll never know unless you try.
Yes, I’m really in a different place now– I think it may be the result of both writing and (hippy dippy though it sounds) kundalini yoga. I feel like I’ve changed more this year than in the previous seven or eight years combined!
Have you ever checked out the UrbanBaby message boards? Will certainly confirm that not having a baby is no tragedy.
Also– I searched for “childless” while there— a lot of those moms think childless couples are happy, thin, young looking with lots time/money to travel about. Definitely some truth to that.
Yes, I think being part of a dual-income couple does sound like a pretty nice way to exist these days. I’ve been enjoying my independence lately, but certainly having a partner is beneficial in numerous ways.