side by side
Recently I’ve visited a bunch of art shows with companions in tow. While I was happy enough to see these people and chat with them before each show, it felt a little confining to me (but also, I suppose, touching) that each person wanted to stick by my side while looking at the pictures (in one case, chatting to me the entire time, which drove me a little batty). I kept wanting to say, “We can split up and I’ll find you afterwards.”
Pondering this later, I considered the idea that I’ve become a hardened loner. I spoke to one of my (male) coworkers about this and he told me he feels the same way. He’s in a long-term relationship (although never married and childless), but when he goes to shows with his girlfriend they usually split up, and he frankly enjoys going to movies solo. We further discussed the inconveniences and difficulties of coordinating plans with other people and the fact that it’s often more exciting to go places alone, as you are more likely to meet new people.
I suppose those are the positive flip sides to feeling “alone, alone, alone, I’m always alone.”
Or it could be that when viewing art, you want to be silent to really let it sink in, to try to feel what the artist is saying. I notice if I am talking all the time or trying to listen to another person talk I can’t focus non my surroundings as much (if at all) and it can take away from the experience.
Or maybe I am a hardened loner as well.
– Who are these ‘other people’ you want to meet? Might they later be the same ones you end up feeling confined by?
– Maybe it’s more about who you choose to attend these events with, rather the question of going solo vs with another. Attending with someone who also experiences a deep appreciation for the art would likely be a more satisfying experience.
That begs the question, however, of where these other “companions” fit in? What are these relationships? Do you value them, and if so … what for?
They are friends and acquaintances but you make some good points… still looking for the person where it’s totally comfortable to be “alone together.”