One of the lessons I learned in my twenties was that no matter how old you are and how many life experiences you have had, when you start something new– a job, a location, a hobby– you are a freshman all over again. I think that is why people get stuck in a rut as they get older; they are resistant to feeling clueless, foolish, and lost again.
Although I was in my late thirties when I relocated here, I was definitely a freshman again, trying group after group and activity after activity to find my footing and my people.
Eventually I settled in, but I feel like I’m entering another “freshman” period again, as the people I was hanging out with the last few years are no longer here or in my life. I’m back to hanging out with new people and trying new things, traveling down a lot of blind alleys along the way.
I am 45…and if I don’t stay in my relationship, I’ll be a “freshman” again, too! Even pondering I am thinking “here we go again!”. Nothing wrong with that per se….just at some point I’d like a relationship to last most of my life, if possible.
So in essence, I know exactly the feeling.