never married, over forty, a little bitter


A couple of days after Christmas my phone started ringing again.  Rebecca wanted me to go to a party of her sorority sisters.  So I did.  I have to admit they were a fun group and not dumb at all.  They were very interested in me and impressed about me being back East.  Still there was something about them, there was an underlying fear beneath the casual fun.  I got the feeling that what they really wanted was to get married and start families and they were just being wild college girls because that’s what they were supposed to do and that was the best way to meet the right guys.

I never said that though.  And driving home Rebecca and I were talking about boys and college and about life in general and she was actually very wise about things.  But getting out of her car I still felt a separation from her.  Like from now on our lives were going to be fundamentally different.  It hit me hard too because later I was making some food by myself in the kitchen and all of a sudden I felt so sad and tired and weird.  I had to sit down.  And then I started crying.—  Blake Nelson, Dream School, p. 49

the gauntlet

I was talking to some women this week about our first years in L.A.  They also moved out here jobless and with few social connections, and it sounds like they went through the same gauntlet I did– uncomfortable roommate situations, loneliness, soul-destroying first jobs, stints as babysitters, lengthy commutes, and the decision to leave by a certain date if things didn’t improve.

For all of us, after a minimum of a year, things turned around, and we are now all doing fairly well and positioned to make good money if we keep on keeping on.

Things are easier, but it’s still not an easy life.


I was disappointed by this report yet heartened by the insightful comments: