I have to admit that it was discouraging for me to learn that almost every last woman I went to college with is married with kids (a few are divorced); I thought more weren’t but it turns out I was wrong. In fact, I can think of only two who are in my same boat, and one of those has been in long-term (if problematic) relationships her entire life. I did endure one uncomfortable moment at the reunion, when a former professor flat-out asked me, “So you never got married? You don’t have any kids?”.
It’s become really, really difficult to resist the internal “what’s wrong with me” dialogue. The only thing I see I have in common with my other college friend who hasn’t married is that we are both highly independent and adventurous and we never solely identified with one group of friends.
I found this helpful today:
For some, the “Why am I not married” question can eventually morph into the, “What’s wrong with me?” question. You may ask yourself: “Is there something about me that is either: wrong; different; or inadequate, that keeps me from finding a marriage partner?”
…stir up all those ingredients: the questioning of self, opinions of others, your biological clock ticking louder than ever; gently fold in the idea of dating without marrying for half your life; and sprinkle in the fact you want to grow older and better with a loving partner and…well, it’s understandable if this recipe leaves you feeling at worst, panicked and at best exhausted…
Always remember that you’re engaged in the marathon called “life”. There are no shortcuts or fast tracks to happiness; it’s a one-day-at-a-time journey.